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Heh, I had the same feelings of trepidation when an ex-girlfriend dragged me to a LGBTA meeting when I was in college. If you give it a chance, the nervousness will go away. Maybe it's because you don't want to be thought of as gay yourself, maybe you don't want to become a hypothetical "straight pet" for the usual crowd there, or maybe it's just the nervousness of going to a new place. You want to go and have fun, you want to be accepted there, but not completely. You're intruding, and you are set on your guard because of that. First, it looks like you at least were acutely aware you were going to a "gay club." Even though you were going on "straight night," right off the bat you're going to have a sense that you don't quite belong there. In addition, your parents, in such situations, held the position of authority. In a certain sense, that makes them "safe." You know they have no interest in you, sexually or otherwise.
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From your post, I take it that most of the gay people you've met and interacted with were friends of your parents. Partly your uncomfort is that of being in a new sensation. If you're the kind of person who doesn't care whether someone is gay or straight you'll probably just get used to it. I've been back several times and always enjoy myself.īased on your previous relationships with gay men I would have to recommed going back to the club. I had fun dancing, a lot of great conversations, and gradually became very comfortable and "at ease". I met a lot of people- some were straight, some were gay men wearing no shirts. Everyone there was very friendly there was no "attitude" like at a lot of other clubs in Boston. I was only uncomfortable for a short time.
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The first time I went I had an experience similar to yours, except there were a lot more gay men around than in your situation. Now on Fridays (actually Saturday mornings- they don't open until 1AM) there's a big straight crowd there. It's the only legal after-hours club in the city, and at one time it was exclusively gay. I had a similar experience once and (like you) I have a gay friend and many gay acquaintances.Īnyway, I went to a club in Boston called Rise. View image: /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif Are there any ways to get around this problem other than to not go to the club? I'm sure I'm going to be around gay people other times in my life and I'd really like to find a way NOW not to be uncomfortable around them. Please don't call me a gay basher, because I'm not. I'm going home today and I'm going to talk to my dad about it, because some of his best friends in college were gay, but I felt like mabye I'd get a more diverse population's opinion if I posted this here. To make matters worse, I really fell in love with the club and I want to go back, but not if I'm going to be uncomfortable. And yes, I know that they have every right to go there on straight night just like I have every right to go there any other night if I so chose. I know that it's wrong to judge people based on their sexual orientation, but I couldn't focus on having a good time with them there. This is a gay club, mind you, and we DID know this before we went, but we didn't think it would be wierd because Thursdays are "straight night." Except it wasn't TOTALLY straight night - there were mabye five or six gay guys all dancing kinda strange with each other and they started taking off their shirts and stuff, and it really made me uncomfortable. A few friends and I went to a club we had never been to because we heard that it was the best club in the area for dancing. I've never really been in a situation where there have been gay people around when my parents weren't there until last night. Therefore, I've been raised to be very accepting of all different types of people. Both of my parents, however, had and still do have some very close gay friends. To make a long background story short, everyone in my family is straight.